Throughout all of Room
I’ve been unbelievably impressed with how patient Ma is with Jack. I have a
little brother who recently turned six years old, and so I have some experience
interacting with children of that age. They are energetic, always wanting
someone to play with them, and occasionally out of control. Even though I know
it’s due to his age, I sometimes get frustrated with my little brother when I’m
trying to talk to my mom and he constantly interrupts, or if we’re playing a
game and he gets bored and decides it would be more fun to just throw all the
game pieces at me. In this sense, I’m
not always as patient as I could be with him. My mom is more patient but
sometimes she too gets frustrated, and sends my brother to his room to chill
for a bit.
Unlike most parents, Ma never gets any time away from Jack.
Not that I think she doesn’t enjoy spending time with him, but I can’t imagine
how draining it would be to have to match a 5 year old’s energy all day every
day. Most parents have daycare or babysitters or a separate room to send their
kids to, but Ma has none of these options. Nevertheless, most days she is
present and ready to play with Jack to keep his universe fun and full of
possibilities instead of exposing him to the prison they actually live in. I
have so much respect for her for being able to raise and amuse Jack the way she
does.
The question was raised in class today of whether Ma is
moving too fast for Jack now that they are Outside. Personally, I completely
understand why she would want to take a shower by herself or go walk around in
the gardens after being confined for so long, and I can see why she would be frustrated that Jack isn’t also
interested in those things. For years her number one priority has been
keeping Jack safe and happy. Now that she has more freedom in her life, I hope
that Ma starts taking more care of herself the way that she has been taking
care of Jack for so long.
I definitely agree with you, each reading I am more and more impressed with Ma's patience which I know I would not have in that situation. What I find interesting about Ma's patience despite some of her frustrations, is how easily we can still interpret her emotions through Jack's narration. He can usually pick up on when she is frustrated or upset, even if he often doesn't understand why. However, since he is able to pinpoint these moments, the reader is able to interpret where Jack can't about why Ma is feeling the way she is. To me, I feel like we can really see Ma struggling trying to balance her love for Jack and her excitement and relief at finally being Outside again. On the one hand, we can see and completely understand her wanting to just enjoy a bit of normal life, but there are also moments where her love for Jack is clearly taking her priority and while sometimes she seems upset by this, she doesn't often hold it against Jack.
ReplyDeleteYou raise a lot of good points. Ma has spent so long taking care of Jack and defining her world to match his, that to be able to return to the normal world is exciting. That is why it is even more frustrating when Jack keeps reminding her of Room, or trying to hold on to the habits that they developed in Room. Now that they have the option to go outside and be separate from each other, Ma has to become a little more forceful and stern with Jack. She needs to separate herself from him sometimes for both of their sakes, and needs to teach Jack how life works outside of Room if she wants him to grow up properly.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kat! Ma is definitely impressive for having spent years without a single break from Jack. An interesting thought is that Ma may have been using Jack as a shield against her emotions. From what we can tell, she was Gone regularly before Jack was born and after his birth she is only occasionally Gone (from what we can tell). So, it seems to me like she is using him as a coping mechanism. Also, I can't remember when my brother was that age, but I just got a puppy and I can't imagine having to constantly be in an 11x11 room with her (I love her, but she's crazy).
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you highlighted how patient and gracious Ma is towards Jack. To me, it's one of the most beautiful and compelling parts of the book because while sometimes it feels superhuman how patient she is I think it's still portrayed as realistic. Now that they're in outside it grows harder and harder for her to be patient with him because of their diverging needs and interests and because all of the other responsibilities she has. She logistically just can't give Jack as much attention as she used to and while I think that's probably good for the both of them it's really hard to hear from Jack's perspective the repercussions of this divergence. Life is just way more complicated for them now and lots more decisions have to be made. The situations where Ma has to be firm or forceful are situations that wouldn't have happened in Room. I don't think that Ma has necessarily changed, the world has. As well, I think that there's a disconnect between what Jack thinks of as firm and what Ma intends to come across as firm. For example Ma makes the "5 toys" rule and when Jack breaks it he expects that she will be angry at him while in reality she was just trying to create some structure and doesn't really care about the number. Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteMa's patience is honestly one of the most amazing things in Room. It's worth noting that she does have some ways of spending time without Jack -- for example, playing Corpse or napping get her a little time without having to be energetic. But other than that, she's with him all the time. Even when he goes to bed, she goes to bed at roughly the same time or has to spend time with Old Nick. She doesn't even get those few hours every night when the kid's asleep that every parent does. But you raise a good point about Ma taking care of herself. She's spent so much time making her number one priority Jack that she's not really taken care of herself. She was depressed before Jack was born, and we can surmise that she's still a little depressed now, or at least has depressive episodes. It's hard for Ma to deal with that -- Jack is a bit of a coping mechanism in Room, but Outside is a lot different, and Ma is going to have to deal with herself more and more.
ReplyDeleteIt's insane how patient Ma is with Jack. Granted, she does have some days where she's "Gone," but majority of the time, she's spending every second interacting with Jack. Taking care of Jack, along with dealing with Old Nick at the same time, is a super heroic act by Ma. There is a point in the story where Ma says that she needs to learn to be herself again, shows how she's centered the past five years of her life around Jack.
ReplyDeleteI agree, children are great but also a lot. I also have a younger sister and even after a few minutes of the same game or questions, I begin to look for ways out (I also may just be a bad sister but that's neither here nor there). I can't even pretend to understand how Ma feels. To your point about Ma moving too quickly, I also agree that it seems plausible that Ma is just ready to feel a sense of normalcy again given her abduction. The most illustrative of this is about halfway through "After," when Ma explains that she's relearning everything she once knew and has trouble keeping up with Jack. Great post, Kat!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I agree that Ma's impatience was a somewhat alarming thing that began to surface after the Great Escape. It was such a contrast to the Ma that we had seen before. While before when Ma ran out of patience, she would just take a second and calm herself, it feels like she has less control now in the outside world. Could it be because she has so many things she wants to do, and that she wants to think about taking care of herself too as you say? I agree with that, but I also think there's something more beneath the surface causing her to behave that way. Something else that's stressing her to the point she's become impatient.
ReplyDeleteThe more I think about it, the less believable it gets. How does someone in Ma's position have the ability to raise a child well while suffering in her own way. Everyday she pretends. She pretends to be carefree to keep Jack smiling, she pretends to be happy to keep Old Nick from torturing Jack, and she pretends that someone will come to their rescue to keep herself sane. Once she's finally out does she still remember who she is? All of that patience must have taken a toll on her.
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